For my birthday 3 or 4 years ago, my boss bought me a 2 1/2 gallon gas can . . . complete with 2 1/2 gallons of gas and a bow on top. I hadn't ran out of gas in 4 months, which, at the time, was a new record for me. I ran out of gas on the way home that afternoon.
I've ran out of gas at least 50 times since then (probably more like 150!), but I've never had to walk or buy a can. I've kept it full of gas and in the back of Homer the Superbus. Since I went to an electric fuel pump a couple of years ago, I can run out gas, hop out, pour in the "reserve" and be back on the road in under a minute!
And then, last Monday happened.
I was low on gas. I knew I was close to walking, but I wasn't sure how much gas Joy had in the Dasher. I let her run out of gas ONCE . . . the only time she has EVER ran out, and I have never heard the end of it. So, I dumped about half the gas in the can in Homer. I know that's more than enough to get me to work and to the gas station after work. I didn't have time to stop before work . . . I had to be there at 5:30am and it was about 5:05. So, I'm OK, and I put the can in the back of the Dasher. I figure that if Joy actually DID run out of gas on the way to work, she could dump the rest of the gas in the can and get to work on time and MAYBE, just maybe, she wouldn't be too rough on me for running all her gas out over the weekend.
I got off work at 4:15 and had to drive over to Flintstone to a 4:45 dentist appointment. I KNOW I have to stop by the gas station. I have EVERY INTENTION of stopping by the gas station as I left the parking lot at work. Just as I was about to pull out, a VW bus topped the hill. I waved of course, and as the bus got closer I realized it was Alex Davis (a.k.a. Stew; a.k.a. Alex Von Slagnasty). He turned on his blinker and started slowing down . . . I knew I didn't have time to stop and talk . . . gotta stop the gas station and get to the dentist . . . so as he turned into the parking lot, I pulled out. Well, he looked kind'a puzzled, wondering why I didn't back up and park and look at his newly acquired bus, so I motioned for him to call me. He called, I explained the situation and talked to him about his new bus and headed on the dentist. I FORGOT about getting gas. I made it within 100 yards of topping the hill on Hwy. 2 past Ridgeland High School and ran out of gas. Had I only made to the top of the hill, I could have coasted to a station. My can is in the back of the Dasher. I got 15 minutes to get to the dentist and I'm about a mile away so I locked up Homer and started walking. I hadn't got far when someone offered me a ride. I got him to drop me off at the dentist office. I was the last appointment of the day, so one of the hygienists gave me a ride to the gas station. I told her I'd walk from there . . . it was a pretty day and I needed the exercise. $6.50 for a 1 gallon can, $2.50 for a gallon of gas, and I took off hoofing it. After I got across Hwy. 193, I realized it was all uphill. A steep uphill. And long. And STEEP. And I'm FAT. Why didn't I just tell my hygienist . . . yeah, if you don't mind waiting just a minute, I'd love to have a ride on to my bus? . . . but before long a young man stopped and offered me a ride. So, I got there, dumped the gas in Homer, and took off over the hill to fill up. The had taken me in for my cleaning a little early and since I didn't have to walk much of the trip, I was actually back on the road heading home a little sooner than I expected. No one has to know about this . . . right?
Well, I have no sooner gotten Homer started and my phone started ringing. Susan Bailey lives near when I ran out of gas. She saw Homer and searched the area and couldn't find me so she called Herb to get my cell phone number. Either Herb gave her the wrong number or she dialed it wrong . . . either way, she called my daughter's number instead (it's one digit off from mine). Carla call Joy . . . So now, even though I wasn't slowed down by the whole incident, everyone from Ooltewah to LaFayette KNOWS that Homer is sitting on the side of the road and they are trying to find me and find out why. So much for keeping this screw-up a secret! But, it is nice to know that I have friends . . . even if they give me a hard time about running out of gas.
